How to be yourself

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You are one in one hundred billion.

You are the only you on the entire planet. You are the only you there ever has been or ever will be!

You are here to do something unique with your gifts (or talents), passion and personality that will bring happiness and good things to you, other people and the earth.

No one else can do what you are here to do in the exact same way.

You are irreplaceable!

To fulfil your unique life purpose and to make the difference you were born to make just: be yourself, have fun, share your love, share your gifts, learn along the way and follow your dreams.

The most important of these is the first – BE YOURSELF!

There is no one else on earth who can possibly be you!

It’s just like these famous thinkers said…

“Be yourself – everyone else is already taken!” Oscar Wilde

“Be yourself – not who you think you should be.” Henry Thoreau

So how do you be yourself?

Before I explain the three secrets to ‘being yourself’, I’ll just point out that ‘being yourself’ means it is okay to make mistakes and do the wrong thing every now and then – because that’s how you learn. BUT it doesn’t mean that it is okay to be disrespectful or to hurt people with your words or actions on purpose again and again. Okay now that is clear…

Here are three secrets to ‘being yourself’ – Love Shady, Trust Sparky and Let go.

Love Shady

Shady is the scared part of you that tries to protect your body, personality, thoughts and feelings. When you feel scared Shady is trying to tell you that he or she (let’s use ‘he’) thinks you could get hurt.

Sometimes Shady’s fear helps you, like when a stranger tells you to get in their car or when your friend tells you to steal something from your teacher’s wallet. But other times (a lot more of the time) Shady’s fear actually stops you being yourself.

Shady doesn’t want you to look stupid, be embarrassed, fail or feel bad so he actually tells you not to do or say anything that would make people judge you.

In other words when you are in a new or challenging situation Shady tells you to protect yourself somehow. Depending on your personality you might try to avoid attention by not joining in so you don’t get embarrassed or demand attention by making fun of someone else so that other people don’t realise you are scared.

The behaviour you use to protect yourself is not ‘being yourself’ it is being the scared part of you. You also have the loving part of you and the part of you that gets to choose between the two. In other words ‘being yourself’ means your whole self, not just your scared self.

When you feel scared and find it hard to be yourself say, “I love you Shady but that’s not helping.”

That’s how you love shady. Next…

Trust Sparky

When it is hard to be yourself because Shady is so loud in your head or your heart is so full of fear…

Go somewhere quiet (if you can), close your eyes and ask Sparky (the loving and brave part of you), “What now?” Notice what you hear, feel, see or know in your imagination. Feeling nervous is normal by the way. If you can’t hear an answer ask someone you love and trust to help you. If you can’t hear Sparky and you have no one to help you just do or say what feels right to you, remembering that it is not okay to hurt yourself, other people or nature.

If you are too scared to join in, speak up or do whatever you know is the right thing is to do…

Let go

This means to let go of the Shady beliefs that are stopping you from being yourself and to let go of your bad feelings too. You do this by saying all your Shady thoughts and beliefs out loud to yourself or to someone you love and trust and then by letting your feelings come out too (crying).

If you don’t let your scared thoughts and feelings out of your imagination and heart they get stuck inside you and then the next time you are in a new or challenging situation you feel scared all over again. Your fear then becomes a habit.

When you let your scared beliefs and feelings go you stop or break the habit. The next time you are in a scary situation you will be braver, more able to hear Sparky and more able to be yourself!

Being you takes courage. You can do it! You were born to do it!

I believe in you and Sparky does too!

Love Kathy

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