How to overcome fear

Last Friday I sent out an email that was laced with fear. If you read it – did you notice?

I was talking up the January workshops and how you should book in now and definitely not spend your money on a trip to Fiji!

It wasn’t one of my proudest contributions to the inbox, but hey, I’m human! I get scared and I have forgiven myself so now I can share the lesson!

Fear is normal and human, but as my friend so insightfully said, ‘Fear is not love!’

When we are motivated by fear other people can tell and they usually keep their distance!

I was so scared that I had ‘priced’ myself out of people’s budgets for the January workshop that I sent a desperate email demanding people book in because it was a bargain and because if they didn’t they would miss out. Marketing wise these are actually good tactics – ‘make it scarce and make it the last time you offer it at that price’, but it terms of love it wasn’t good! (I really don’t want people to book in because they are scared! I’d rather people come because they want their kids to reach their potential and a happier home life along the way would be heavenly!)

I took three Pit Stops on the weekend (seriously!) They were about:

  1. Fear of not having any money
  2. Fear of not being worthy of money and
  3. Fear of ‘being rich’

At the beginning of the first Pit Stop I saw myself (in my imagination) in a scene that looked like it was straight from Shrek. I was standing on the edge of a deep, wide and raging lava pit that surrounded a castle. The castle was where I was holding the January workshops so I knew I had to get in there. There was a narrow, rickety rope bridge and a massive fire-breathing dragon on the other side of the ravine, looking straight at me!

By the end of the third Pit Stop I saw myself (in my imagination) standing in the ‘Breakers Room’ at Aanuka smiling at a medium size group of kids, parents and families (they were smiling back)! Yippee!

What happened in between time? I went and stayed at my best friend’s home for the weekend (in real life) and shared with her all my fears about the workshop, being poor, being unworthy and finally my fear about being rich! I talked openly and honestly and I cried, screamed, talked to my dead mother in my imagination, cried some more, relived an ‘unworthy of money’ scene from my childhood, changed it to how I wanted it to be and went through all the stages of a Pit Stop for each fear either with her or on my own (I did most of the crying and yelling on my own, just so I didn’t hold anything back).

At the end of the second Pit Stop I imagined myself standing tall and crossing the rope bridge and then when I looked up the dragon had disappeared! By the end of the third Pit Stop (when I saw myself in the workshop room) I knew I was not scared anymore and that whatever happened with the workshop (for richer or poorer) I would be okay!

I have always believed in the saying, “Do it afraid!” (Which is why I sent the email on Friday!)

But it totally helps if you share your fears out loud with someone you trust and love and then let out all your bottled up feelings first!

So the next time you are faced with a lava ravine and a fire-breathing dragon – give the Pit Stop a go!

Here is a link to p80 of ‘Sparky and Shady for Big Kids’ it will give you a detailed explanation of how to take a Pit Stop

Love Kathy

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