1. Connect with Sparky
Dear Parents, Carers and Families,
This lesson introduces Sparky – the calm, loving, wise part of us.
The goal is for children to feel a connection with their Sparky.
You choose how deep you want to dive in.
Here are the options:
- Watch the video with your child.
- Talk about the video – whatever comes up.
- Ask your child to draw Sparky (if they want to).
- Read The Spark of Love story or watch the video of Kathy reading it.
- Read the “Grownup Notes”.
- Print out the Summary Poster, Sparky Love Poster, Sparky Brave Poster, Sparky Help Poster and Sparky Friend Poster.
- Read the “Tricky Tips for Grownups”.
- Practise the “Sparky, can you help me please?” strategy.
- Have a least one sleep on the content before you move on to the next lesson.
Kathy
Drawing Activity
Go and draw a picture of your Sparky. You could draw you asking Sparky for love, you asking Sparky for help to be brave or you asking Sparky for help.
Summary Poster
Grownup Notes
Sparky is…
Sparky is the calm, loving, wise part of us.
It shows up as: kindness, courage, patience, honesty, empathy, gratitude, connection, and forgiveness.
You don’t need to be “good” or “perfect” to access Sparky. Sparky is already part of you.
Sparky lives…
In your heart, your body, your imagination, and in everyday moments.
Some people can picture Sparky clearly. Others can’t “see” things in their mind at all, and that’s normal too. You can still connect with Sparky by noticing a feeling (like warmth, calm, softness), a memory, or a connection with a loved one or nature.
Clarifying Sparky in our imagination
The qualities we’re calling Sparky (love, courage, wisdom, calm) are real human capacities.
The reason this program gives them a name and a character is to help children (and grownups) understand that they are in everyone, no one misses out.
A character makes it easier to:
- talk about what’s happening inside
- practise “connecting” with calm
- build a kind inner voice over time
Sparky is a choice
When we slow down enough to notice what’s happening, we can choose a Sparky response.
That might look like:
- pausing instead of snapping
- speaking kindly instead of harshly
- asking for help instead of pushing through
- trying again after a hard moment
Early years children are often in Sparky
Young children have a beautiful and natural capacity for joy, play, curiosity, love, and wonder. That’s them immersed in their Sparky qualities.
This lesson helps them notice that loving, brave, calm part of themselves and practise coming back to it.
Grownups can connect with Sparky too
When adults are stressed, busy, or worn out, Sparky can feel “unrealistic”.
That doesn’t mean Sparky is not there. It just means your nervous system needs support.
Connecting with Sparky usually feels like:
- softening in your body
- a sense of calm
- a feeling of warmth or love
- a kinder inner voice
A simple meditation (one minute is enough)
Try this in a way that suits you:
- Put one hand on your heart (or just sit comfortably).
- Take one slow breath in… and a longer breath out.
- Ask quietly: “Sparky, can you help me please?”
- Notice anything at all — warmth, calm, openness, love, or maybe just a tiny bit more space inside.
If you don’t feel anything straight away, that’s okay. This is a skill that grows with gentle repetition — just like learning to swim.
Kathy
P.S. You may have already felt Sparky at other times in your life:
- when you’re amazed by your child
- when you’re immersed in nature
- when you’re listening to or playing music
- when you’re creating, moving, dancing, or singing
- when you’re watching people share their gifts
- or when you’ve helped someone from a place of care
Strategy Posters
Tricky Tips for Grownups
You must be human
After this lesson, it’s completely normal to question whether Sparky is “real”. That’s Shady doing its job.
Shady often gets louder when we learn something new, especially something that asks us to slow down, tune in, and trust ourselves. You might notice thoughts like, “This is weird,” or “Is this made up?” That’s a very normal protection response to something unfamiliar.
You might also have the opposite response: you feel inspired and want to share Sparky with everyone you love. That’s human too.
Either way, the best tip is simple – keep going.
Practise feeling love in your heart
The more you practise connecting with the feeling of love in your heart, the easier it becomes—and the easier it will be for your child to learn it too.
If you don’t feel that warm, loving sensation straight away, that’s okay. Start gently: think of someone you love (it could be a pet), and notice what happens in your chest and heart area. You’re not trying to force the feeling, you’re just noticing.
If you genuinely can’t feel anything at all, you’re not broken and you’re not alone. Sometimes, people have a “Shady cloud” over that space, especially if they’ve been carrying stress, grief, or shut-down feelings for a long time. We’ll talk more about that in the feelings lesson (including how to remove the cloud).
Another way to experience Sparky is to do something kind. Help someone, encourage someone, or do a small kind thing without expecting anything in return. That feeling of connection, kindness, and support is Sparky.
How “Sparky, can you help me please?” might work
Let’s imagine four-year-old Gracie is playing when a friend suddenly yells, “You’re so bossy! I don’t want to be your friend anymore!”
In that moment, Gracie’s Shady might think, “I don’t have any friends” or “I’ll show her.” Shady is trying to protect Gracie from rejection, so it goes straight to worry or attack.
A grownup witnesses the interaction, and says… “Sparky, can you help us please?”
An idea pops into the grownups head, but instead of jumping in to help, they wait. Gracie suddenly says,
“I going to play with someone who is kind to me.”
Later that day the grownup gently talks with Gracie about being a kind friend and that when we make mistakes it is important to forgive ourselves and others. With the grownups help, Gracie finds the friend who yelled at her and tells her she is sorry for bossing her around and that she will practise taking turns. Her friend says sorry for yelling. The girls walk off together.
Repeat the lessons (because repetition wires the brain)
We don’t do swimming lessons once and hope for the best—we repeat them until our child can swim confidently. Sparky and Shady is the same.
To keep repetition fun, you can turn it into a game by asking your child if they noticed which character appears at the end of the video (just before the summary comes up), or whether they remember what Ranger said or did in this one.
Repetition wires the brain. We’re wiring for Sparky.
Keep going. Your child is worth it.
Kathy