Now go and draw a picture of you, Sparky and Shady in your car together!
“Is that Sparky or Shady?”- Ask your child if they are listening to Sparky or Shady when they are doing loving things. When we focus on our child’s loving behaviours we get more of them. Of course it is okay to ask, “Is that Sparky or Shady?” when your child is doing something motivated by fear, however be prepared for them to use this on you too! Both my sons use it on me!
Read ‘Chapter One – Who you are’ from ‘Sparky and Shady for Kids’ with your child sometime during the week and chat about anything of interest that comes up with your child.
Be open to asking yourself, “Is that Sparky or Shady?” when you look at your own behaviour with your children. Remember, you are doing the best you can with what you know, so if you are motivated by fear more than you would like – you will soon find out how to turn this around!
If you realise your child has been using a Shady behaviour to meet their needs for love, belonging, self-worth or importance, change your reaction so they don’t get your attention when they are acting in a Shady way.