Sparky has been in my ear each day lately reminding me to be grateful for myself, my gifts, my life, my family, my friends, the day and everything I have learnt and are continuing to learn along the way.

In other words I am exactly where I am supposed to be and I’m doing the best I can with what I have, despite my Shady telling me otherwise!

‘Otherwise’ is a bit of an understatement. My Shady has very high expectations and I regularly catch myself thinking things like:

“I’m not earning enough.”

“I’m not doing enough.”

“I should be doing this…”

“I need to do that.”

“It will all be alright when…”

When I think these things I feel bad. In Sparky and Shady talk I am on the low road and my feelings are giving me a red light, which means ‘STOP’!

If your Shady has high expectations and demands more of you, try these Short cuts (a lot less painful than a full-blown Pit Stop and pretty damn close to giving you the same result!):

Body short cut

Close your eyes, hold your pointer finger and ask Sparky, “Is my body okay?”

Listen to Sparky. Sparky will tell you what your body needs. He is your body’s best mechanic! Fix your body and see if Shady shuts up for a while – Shady is very LOUD when your body needs something.

Statistically speaking it is highly likely that you are sleep deprived and dehydrated!

If Shady keeps going on and on (even after you have hydrated and caught up on some sleep) try a…

Shady short cut

Close your eyes, hold your tall finger and ask Shady, “What’s wrong?”

It is time to give your Shady some undivided attention so he can get it all said.

Say everything Shady is worried, angry or sad about out loud. Say it to your reflection in the mirror, write it down or say it to a friend.

Let your feelings come out now too. You might need a bash, yell, cry or all three to get the bottled up emotions out of you.

This doesn’t have to take ages, it can be short and sweet.

Check that you are done by asking Shady, “What else?” Make sure Shady has got nothing left.

When you have listened to everything Shady is thinking and you have got your feelings out too, follow up with a Sparky short cut.

Sparky short cut

Close your eyes, hold your ring finger and ask Sparky, “What now?” Which means “What do I do now Sparky?”

Listen to what Sparky tells you to do and do it.

My Sparky told me that whenever I feel bad about ‘not doing enough, not earning enough, not being enough or not having enough’ I just need to tell Shady, “I don’t believe you. I’m doing the best I can today.”

Then Sparky suggested focusing on all the things, people, experiences and achievements in my life that I am grateful for.

Finally she said to say this to myself in my head after I’ve cut Shady off…

“I am making a difference everyday. The world is an amazing place because I am in it!”

It’s true you know. The world is an amazing place because you and I are in it!

You are making a difference everyday. You are doing the best you can with what you have and you are the best parent for your beautiful kids no matter what!

If your Shady doubts you, try the Short cuts and set him straight!

Love Kathy