This week in after school classes we did ‘Lesson five – How your thoughts work’.
Every time I teach this lesson I am reminded of how powerful our thoughts really are.
I’m talking about the thoughts we think in our head all day long, every day, without even realising it, thoughts like:
“I am making a difference” or “I don’t matter.”
“I am loved” or “No one loves me.”
“I am worthy of love and happiness” or “I’m not worthy.”
“I can do this” or “I can’t do this.”
Where do our loving and fearful thoughts (and self-talk) come from?
From 0-7 years old our brain is in Delta and then Theta wavelength. This means our subconscious minds are like sponges that absorb everything we hear, see, feel and experience in our life. During this time our core beliefs about ourselves, other people and life are formed.
What were the people around you saying and doing when you were 0-7?
“I’m so glad you were born, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Everyone in life will love you and help you.”
“The world is a beautiful and wonderous adventure land, you are going to love it.”
“It’s so hard to make ends meet, we shouldn’t have had you, we can’t afford you.”
“Everyone is so selfish and mean, no one helps anyone, you will be on your own.”
“The world is a dangerous and unsafe place, you will have to be very wary.”
Aristotle knew that our core beliefs determined our destiny 2200 years ago when he said,
“Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.”
Why do our core beliefs determine our destiny?
Mahatma Gandhi explains it very simply in the picture above.
If you believe, “I can do this” then logically the following happens…
You think in your head, “I can do this.”
You say to yourself and others, “I can do this.”
You start doing it and even when you fail you keep going because you know you can do it, it is just a matter of time and effort.
You get in the habit of trying again and again, throwing away what isn’t working, learning from your mistakes and you keep going because you know you can do it and will do it.
Your value becomes, “I keep going until I do it.”
Eventually you do it!
Then you start on the next thing! Your destiny is to live a fulfilling and rewarding doing the things you want to do.
Compare this to someone who believes, “I can’t do this.”
Thoughts – “I can’t do this.”
Words – “I’m not going to bother because I know I can’t do it.”
Actions – Procrastination, avoidance, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness.
Habits – Giving up, procrastination, avoidance, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness.
Values – I stick to what I know.
Destiny – A life of regret.
Can we change our core beliefs?
YES! Absolutely. Our core beliefs can change because our brains are plastic! Norman Doidge’s book “The brain that changes itself”, proves that in actuality our brain, neurons and beliefs are changing all the time.
To change our beliefs, we need to change our thoughts, you may have heard the saying, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” This means that over time if you keep thinking, saying and imagining what you want to believe then you can make it so!
In my experience it also helps to let go of the old belief and the feelings associated with the old belief so that there is reduced competition in the subconscious. It’s a bit like the Native American Indian saying about the two wolves. In this instance the two wolves are the old belief, “I can’t do it.” And the new belief “I can do it.”
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Which beliefs are you going to feed?
If you’d like some help with your beliefs, you might like to join us for ‘Sparky and Shady for Grown Ups.’ Here are some details:
When – Tuesday evenings 6 – 8pm, starting on 31stJuly – 28thAugust (five two-hour sessions)
Cost – $480 per person, payment plan available.
Where – Arena Room, Coffs Harbour Showground
What you will learn – Everything I teach the kids but at a deeper more grown-up level!
Let me know if you are interested and I’ll send you more info firstname.lastname@example.org
Class size will be limited to 6 grown ups (ages 18 – 92yrs welcome) so let me know if you are interested.